I am Maria Heinegg and these are inner workings of my half-hashed mind brought to you by the World Wide Webbing. I am a comedian as well as write for the Huffington Post Comedy Blog, ICanHasCheezburger.com and TheImpersonals.com. In addition, I try to optimize my mutual needs to cry yet maintain social acceptance by doing it in the middle of the night when I'm alone or, at the very least, on the weekends. It's a work in progress. Bon appetit.
The content on this blog is not mine unless otherwise stated, all rights belong to the respected owners.
The following is a Fan fiction I wrote and performed for a comedy show called "Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction", created and hosted by the excellent and hilarious Bryan Cook. My topic was the Little Red Riding Hood.
"Little Red Cock Riding Hood"
Once upon a time there was a beautiful, beautiful barely legal teenager.
She was loved by everyone who lookethed upon her with her juicy, full blooded lips and her big, bouncing titties, her fat-dumps-like-a-truck-truck and her really independent sense of self because women are not just objects to fuck blah blah blah blah blah ba-lah blah blah. Yada yada yada. Oh, are you guys not here for a feminist rant about the negative impact of pornography for the humanity of women in the 21st century? I didn’t think so. So, let’s get to the fucking.
Anyway, so, her grandmother gaveth